1. New England Patriots (12-2)
Dan Connolly may just be the secret weapon this team needs to win the Super Bowl.
2. Atlanta Falcons (12-2)
I wrote after the Falcons week 12 victory over the Packers that I wouldn’t be convinced until I see how they perform in their three straight road games…suffice to say they earned an “A”.
3. Philadelphia Eagles (10-4)
Not even Andy Reid can get in the way of Michael Vick and DeSean Jackson. No lead is safe against the Eagles…
4. Baltimore Ravens (10-4)
This team goes nowhere unless Ray Rice can continue to carry the offense…
5. Chicago Bears (10-4)
If I found a time machine in September, traveled to December 22, 2010, looked at my power rankings, and saw I ranked the Chicago Bears as the fifth best team while the Vikings were 23, the Cowboys 17, and the Chiefs 9 my head would explode.
6. Pittsburgh Steelers (10-4)
Big Ben is getting sexually harassed in the pocket…that’s how bad his offensive line is.
7. New Orleans Saints (10-4)
I wrote last week that the Saints might be the best team in the NFC. It’s obvious that my powers of prognostication need some help. Mayhap from this guy?: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6EjS_h-6es&t=1m40s.
8. New York Jets (10-4)
It’s great for the J-E-T-S that they won in Pittsburgh, but it’s not a good sign they needed a naked bootleg, a kickoff return for a touchdown, and a safety to do it.
9. Kansas City Chiefs (9-5)
It’s time to finally recognize Jamaal Charles as the best back in the league. It’s time to consider Matt Cassel a legitimate MVP candidate.
10. Indianapolis Colts (8-6)
As Manning goes, so do the Colts. In their eight wins: Manning has thrown 14 TD’s to one interception. In their six losses: 14 TD’s to 14 interceptions.
11. Green Bay Packers (8-6)
If Charles Woodson didn’t forget how to catch or if the kickoff coverage team was able to tackle a 300 pound offensive lineman the Matt Flynn-led Pack may have beaten New England.
12. New York Giants (9-5)
Even though the Giants seem to have found the blueprint on stopping Vick (for 7 and a half quarters that is) they were swept for the season because of a stalling offense, bad special teams, and poor tackling.
13. San Diego Chargers (8-6)
The Chargers are in the wrong west…and Vincent Jackson, welcome back.
14. Jacksonville Jaguars (8-6)
Figures that the week I finally fall for this team they lose the biggest game of their season. And how did Maurice Jones-Drew manage a mere 46 yards on 15 carries against the league’s 28th best run defense?
15. Oakland Raiders (7-7)
The emergence of Darren McFadden has made this team relevant again…
16. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (8-6)
Who knew the Lions would play the role of assassin when they murdered Tampa Bay’s playoff chances Sunday?
17. Dallas Cowboys (5-9)
Jason Garret has reinvigorated the offense (scored at least 27 points in last six games) but the secondary still couldn’t cover Betty White…or Randy Moss (which is suddenly an insult).
18. St. Louis Rams (6-8)
Until Sam Bradford has some viable targets this offense will continue to hover just around mediocrity.
19. Miami Dolphins (7-7)
As kicker Dan Carpenter goes, so do the Dolphins…cue thousands of weeping Miami fans across the country.
20. Tennessee Titans (6-8)
This team can be really good when the passing game is working…but unfortunately that relies on a either a 37 year old quarterback, a quarterback about as emotionally stable as Brittney Spears, or a rookie QB named Rusty Smith.
21. Cleveland Browns (5-9)
Poor Eric Mangini can feel Mike Holgrem breathing down his neck…and it doesn’t smell very good.
22. Washington Redskins (5-9)
Rex Grossman having a career day Sunday is more an indictment of the Cowboy’s awful secondary than Grossman hitting the rejuvenation machine…
23. Minnesota Vikings (5-9)
The biggest mystery of the season: What the hell happened to Minnesota’s vaunted defensive line?
24. Detroit Lions (4-10)
Forgive me Drew Stanton…your better than I thought you were. But you’re lucky you have a guy like Calvin Johnson to catch everything that comes his way.
25. Buffalo Bills (4-10)
Dear Buffalo, I’m sorry you have to host a supremely pissed off Patriots team that can’t wait to take out their frustration over a sloppy Sunday Night performance on the next poor sap that stands in their way.
26. Seattle Seahawks (6-8)
Seattle has a good chance to win the division but they’ve lost their last two by a combined 84-39.
27. Houston Texans (5-9)
The Texans looked about as lifeless Sunday against the Titans as Randy Moss’s decaying corpse propped up on the bench.
28. San Francisco 49ers (5-9)
The 49er’s still have a chance to win the division…I just poured an entire bottle of aspirin down my throat.
29. Cincinnati Bengals (3-11)
Wouldn’t it be something if T.O was the reason for Carson Palmer’s dramatic fall from elite status? We’ll have an opportunity to see over the next two weeks now that Owens is out for the remainder of the season…
30. Denver Broncos (3-11)
These three things have happened to players while Josh McDaniel’s was either offensive coordinator or head coach: Tom Brady had the best season of a quarterback ever and the Patriots offense broke every record imaginable, Matt Cassel went from career backup to legitimate starter, and Kyle Orton went from mediocrity to a 4,000 yard passer. Coincidence? I don’t think so…
31. Carolina Panthers (2-12)
There’s been a Jimmy Clausen sighting!!!
32. Arizona Cardinals (4-10)
There’s been a Larry Fitzgerald sighting!!! Oh wait…that was just Larry charging into the locker room with an axe and a chainsaw…
No comments:
Post a Comment