14-13 over the past two weeks…I’m choking worse than Peyton Manning in a playoff game. Let’s hope I can pull a San Diego and come roaring back in the last third of the season. For the first time in two weeks I’m feeling really great about my picks…but I was also feeling good about New England’s chances in Super Bowl XLII. How’d that turn out? A lot of blood, sweat, and tears went into these picks (two of those three didn’t actually happen) so please, enjoy them, but enjoy them responsibly:
If I was a Cincinnati fan I would be utterly dismayed by the fact that Carson Palmer is being outplayed by Bill’s Quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick. If I was a Buffalo Bills fan I would be utterly dismayed that I’m a Buffalo Bills fan. Both teams are bad and destined for high picks in the draft; which begs the question: Why is Gus Johnson calling this one? Why does he get stuck with the crappy ones? He’s the Larry Fitzgerald of sports announcers. I picked the Bengal’s for several reasons: The Bills can’t win two in a row unless a certain four horseman are involved, I trust the Bengals slightly more in crunch time than the Bills, and Carson and friends should be able to tear up that awful Buffalo secondary. I’ll repeat should because the Bengals should be doing a lot of things this season…
Detroit Lions @ Dallas Cowboys (23-16)
I’m treating these two teams like I would treat bio-hazard waste. I’m more confused by this contest than Brad Childress when he looks at the play calling sheet. Dallas finally came together last week, but only after the Giants did everything short of send out the “Tiny football league” in place of their starters (can anyone tell me exactly what that tiny football league segment that airs on Sunday night football actually is? It can’t be funny right? It’s not particularly heartwarming…I just don’t get it). Here’s one constant in Dallas: Dez Bryant is incredible, and he should absolutely eviscerate the Lion’s piss-poor secondary all by himself. For that reason, and that reason alone I’m going with America’s team (no sarcasm, I swear).
Washington Redskins @ Tennessee Titans (28-17)
At what point do teams stop throwing double-coverage on Moss? He hasn’t been “taking the top off the defense” in fourteen solid months…what makes you think he’s going to start now? Speaking of Moss, check this out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmJcUlrkMNg.
After watching The Skin’s apocalyptic meltdown last Monday night, two things are clear: Donovan McNabb is officially washed up (although moving from DeSean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin to Santanna Moss and…Washington’s other receiver tends to make anyone look washed up) and Washington’s defense is painfully slow. After two tough losses you would think Tennessee would come out firing, and I don’t think the Redskins have the capability to stop them. Side note: How much money does Dan Snyder give Moss when he eventually signs him over the summer, 50 million, 60 million?
Arizona Cardinals @ Kansas City Chiefs (31-10)
I haven’t stopped riding Kansas City at home all season…no reason to stop now. If they are indeed a playoff team, they need to beat the Cards’ to regain the top spot in the miserable west. Look for them to do just that against the league’s 28th ranked rushing defense.
Green Bay Packers @ Minnesota Vikings (20-17)
I’m tempted to pick the Vikings here; their last big game of the year (probably), big time rivalry, Brett Favre’s last hurrah, a roaring home crowd (where the D-line usually plays well), and the return of Sidney Rice all add up to an upset. Green Bay is the better team but the previously lifeless Vikings know how much this game means to a certain dong-picture-taking quarterback and will come out with enough fire and passion to pull out the nail biter they almost had against the Pack several weeks ago.
Houston Texans @ New York Jets (33-20)
Remember all those “Texans have arrived!” stories you read earlier in the season? Seems like a long time ago, right? It’s impossible to trust them with a defense that is playing so poorly a half decent High School team could put up 40. And look at it this way, New York hasn’t had a dominate performance since they blew out Buffalo in week four, doesn’t it feel like this could be one of those games? Be ready for those “Mark Sanchez leads race for MVP” headlines after he throws four TD’s and put’s Houston’s season to bed.
Oakland Raiders @ Pittsburgh Steelers (26-20)
Oakland is everyone’s cute upset pick of the week. I’ve read 7,000 articles touting how their defense matches up well with Pittsburg’s and that McFadden should have a strong day…I don’t buy it. Pittsburgh is still one of the 6 or 7 best teams in the league, and Oakland is not (I think). Steelers get it done in a close one. (Side note: how long can the Raiders keep this good vibe going for? Week 12, week 13? They will implode by the end of the season, and you can take that to the bank).
Baltimore Ravens @ Carolina Panthers (35-9)
Brian St. Pierre starting for Carolina…what? John Fox is moving into Wade Phillips, Brad Childress territory after that move. He’s basically giving Carolina management a giant middle finger with starting a thirty year old journeyman who has never started an NFL game. Why not give Tony Pike the call to better evaluate what he can do? The St. Pierre move is completely illogical…it’s not like the Panthers are fighting for a playoff spot.
Cleveland Browns @ Jacksonville Jaguars (30-10)
Jacksonville has the better record, but is the worse team…welcome to the NFL! Peyton Hillis should put up some monster numbers against this defense; meanwhile David Garrard is due for one of his patented stinkers. A classic Jags-looking-like-they-could-sneak-into-the-postseason-but-oh-yeah-they-suck game.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ San Francisco 49ers (16-13)
As much as I hate myself for it, I’m tentatively jumping on the San Francisco bandwagon (population: me). Call me Jed York, but why can’t the 49ers win the division? Troy Smith has given them a little extra something, and they actually look a football team now. As much as I also like the Bucs San Fran pulls out a close win at home, thanks to some late game heroics by none other than the great Troy Smith.
Seattle Seahawks @ New Orleans Saints (38-13)
Seattle on the road, with a banged up Matt Hasselbeck against a rejuvenated Saints team with the return of Reggie Bush…you tell me what’s gonna’ happen.
Atlanta Falcons @ St. Louis Rams (19-17)
This isn’t an easy win by any stretch but there are certain games potential one-two seeds need to gut out…and this is one of them. St. Louis has played really well at home, but their only really solid win came against a Charger’s team that was a lot different a couple weeks ago. This game we’ll be close, and I trust Matt Ryan in these close ones more than Bradford. Advantage: Atlanta
Indianapolis Colts @ New England Patriots (34-27)
Indianapolis is really banged up right now, and Peyton Manning has finally come back down to Earth (479 yards, 1 Touchdown, 2 interceptions, 5 sacks last 2 games). Besides the Cleveland game the Pat’s defense has played really well…mostly because the offense has been putting up points which have allowed the D to play with the lead, very important for a young defense. Meanwhile Indy’s defense hasn’t played so well; if New England can successfully block Freeney and Mathis along the edges they will be able to put up huge passing numbers. Like all their previous contests this game will be extremely close, but the Pats are primed for the win.
New York Giants @ Philadelphia Eagles (35-24)
New York’s defense looked a step to slow against the Cowboys…was that a product of a bad game, or is it a real weakness? New York better hope it was a fluke as they’re going up against the most explosive offense in the league Sunday Night. If the G-Men can regain top form along the defensive line then they have a real chance to frustrate, and stop Vick. You could see against the Colts that Vick occasionally looked vulnerable when Freeney and Mathis were able to get free so the Giants pass rush will be key. Ultimately I think the Eagles are too fast for New York, and the Giants won’t be able to keep pace offensively. In other words, I’ll keep riding the Vick-wagon until it cools down…
Denver Broncos @ San Diego Chargers (41-24)
Put it this way: How can Philip Rivers not put up 350 passing yards and 3 touchdowns against Denver’s hideous defense? The Chargers should win based simply on an equally explosive offense and a much better D, but never underestimate what an atrocious kicking game can do to ones chances…
Last Week: 7-7
Overall: 75-53
Upset of the Week: Minnesota Vikings OVER Green Bay Packers
Lock of the Week: New England Patriots OVER Indianapolis Colts
Pounding of the Week: Baltimore Ravens OVER Carolina Panthers
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