Week 10 Power Rankings

1. New England Patriots

I haven’t seen Quarterback Tom Brady that fiery and emotionally invested in a long time…that can only mean good things for the New England Patriots. I guess Brady isn’t as Hollywood as everyone was beginning to believe…

2. New York Jets

The Jets just won two road overtime games in a row…an NFL first. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

3. Atlanta Falcons

Roddy White is an absolute beast and Matty Ice is earning his nickname…if Atlanta can get home field advantage through the postseason they’re in good shape.

4. Baltimore Ravens

The Ravens might not be the best team in the league…but they sure can hock a loogie. I’m not sure how great Joe Flacco is…and that’s not good.

5. Philadelphia Eagles

I could gush about Michael Vick for another 2,000 words…but I already did that a couple of weeks ago.

6. Green Bay Packers

It looks like Green Bay will peak at just the right time, but first they get to officially send Brett Favre into retirement…

7. Indianapolis Colts

Peyton Manning is the mad scientist of football…it doesn’t matter who’s on the receiving end of his passes, he’ll make it work. Still waiting for when the apocalyptic level of injuries catch up with the Colts…waiting…still waiting…and still waiting…

8. Pittsburgh Steelers

Who would have ever expected The Patriot’s offense to finally start clicking against the vaunted Steeler’s defense?...is anyone else getting tired of those awful Troy Polamalu hair commercials?

9. New Orleans Saints

Could Drew Brees have inexplicably sucked for several weeks because of the upcoming birth if his son…football players are human, to, right?

10. New York Giants

Is Tom Coughlin the funniest coach to watch in the NFL?...I think so. There is something to be said about losing to the Dallas Cowboys; I would rather lose to the Buffalo Bills…at least they care.

11. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Josh Freeman is really, really good and this team wins football games. An 11-5 finish is not out of the question.

12. Tennessee Titans

Has Randy Moss aged that much in 11 months? What happened to the guy who fed off negative energy so well he turned it into 150 yard, two TD games? And note to the Titans: I know you are trying to keep Chris Johnson fresh for later in the year, but there won’t be a later if he isn’t more involved. He’s Chris frickin’ Johnson!

13. Chicago Bears

If you showed someone who had absolutely no knowledge of football a montage of every Bears play of the season, told them they had played nine games, and asked them to guess what their record was, what would they say? 3-6, 4-5?

…I have to try that.

14. Oakland Raiders

Tell every Washington Redskin fan you know that Jason Campbell’s quarterback rating is six points better than Donovan McNabb’s…great fun for all.

15. Miami Dolphins

Chad Henne angered the football Gods, it’s the only explanation. Oh, and the Miami Dolphins have rushed for 104.4 yards per game (19th) while the Patriots have rushed for 106.7 yards per game (17th). New England’s two best backs are undrafted free agents Ben-Jarvus Green-Ellis and Danny Woodhead, while Miami’s are 2nd overall pick Ronnie Brown and 5th overall pick Ricky Williams. So that’s why the fish are 5-4…

16. San Diego Chargers

Still wondering how a special team’s unit can be so bad…wouldn’t you think those guys are playing their hearts out just to remain on the roster? Is it really that hard?

17. Kansas City Chiefs

Was Tod Haley pissed at Andy Reid for running up the score? Would he have shaken his hand? Two questions we will never know…but here are two answers I do know: Matt Cassel and Dwayne Bowe are only putting up monster numbers because of how far they’ve fallen behind in games, and the Chief's defense (once the strength of the team) now sucks…

18. Jacksonville Jaguars

Did Gus Johnson’s head explode after that crazy Hail-Mary? Can Gus Johnson follow me around for the rest of my life and do a voice over for every exciting thing that happens to me?

There he goes…He approaches the female…OH MY GOD, THEY’RE TALKING! She’s smiling…a slight smirk, good stuff so far. Very good on the approach, she seems really invested in this conversation…good stu-OHHHHHHHHH, THEY’VE GOT THEIR PHONES OUT, HE’S GOT HER NUMBER!!!!! OH MYYYYY GODDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!

19. San Francisco 49ers

Jed York may not go down as the stupidest football man of 2010 after all, thanks to Dan Snyder and the emergence of Troy Smith.

20. Seattle Seahawks

Matt Hasselbeck seems to give this team a different edge; they certainly play roughly 5,483 times better when he’s at the helm. Maybe Charlie Whitehurst really is that bad?

21. St. Louis Rams

It’s amazing that Sam Bradford is doing as well as he is with the receiving corps he has…it's so bad that Peyton Manning just grimaced.

22. Cleveland Browns

This is the most bad-a$$ team in the league. Colt McCoy is ever calm, cool, and collected, Peyton Hillis looks like he could literally lift a truck, and Rob Ryan is about 13,000 times cooler looking than his brother, Rex. Not to mention they just finished blowing out the Saints and Pat’s, while coming within 16 seconds of tying the Jets.

23. Minnesota Vikings

Maybe Dan Snyder will sign Brett Favre to a six year, 120 million contract? Definitely not out of the question. And note to the Vikings: Maybe use Adrian Peterson? 17 attempts are not enough, even if you are losing…

24. Dallas Cowboys

Still confused as to why Dallas players will suddenly play there tales off for Jason Garret when they wouldn’t for Wade? Was he really that terrible of a person? Someone needs to make a documentary about this…

25. Washington Redskins

Is signing a washed up 34 year old quarterback to a monster contract worthy of a top 3 QB hours before a historic blowout in which the Eagles could have scored upwards of 70 points if they kept there foot on the gas past the third quarter the worst move in NFL history? Is that the worst run-on sentence you’ve ever read? Can the Redskins management be that bad?

26. Denver Broncos

I wanted to pick Denver this past Sunday…I was so close, so close to doing it. Someone remind me why I continue to ride the Chiefs as if they are a legit good team...
27. Houston Texans

Their defense is so terrible, so, so awful. That lucky Jag’s touchdown off the Hail Mary encapsulated the entire Texan’s defense in a nutshell. In fact, Houston’s defense is so bad I heard Dan Snyder is signing them all to four year 50 million contracts (that was one to many Snyder jokes wasn’t it…I’m sorry).

28. Cincinnati Bengals

I loved how Chad OchoCinco played Sunday; so much heart and grit and he left it all on the field. Carson Palmer on the other hand…I don’t need to say anything do I?
29. Detroit Lions

Detroit keeps breaking records at a historic pace…the 0-16 season, and then the 25 straight road losses. Congratulations! On a more serious note, the Lions aren’t half bad when Matt Stafford plays, but unfortunately, that’s one big if.

30. Buffalo Bills

How ironic is it that in the Bills probable last remaining chance to grab a win, they did it against the Detroit Lions? Also, who would you rather have: Donovan McNabb or Ryan Fitzpatrick?

31. Arizona Cardinals

I’m sorry Larry, really, I’m very, very sorry. Its ok, hopefully you will be on a winning team (or Dancing with the Stars) soon enough.

32. Carolina Panthers

Carolina could have had Colt McCoy over Jimmy Clausen. That sound? That’s Panther fans all around the country tightening the noose. Hey, at least your third string runningback was impressive Sunday. Now you’ve got three good ones!