Sunday, December 4, 2011

Week 13 Picks



Carolina Panthers -5 @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers

A mediocre offense versus a God-awful defense. Who breaks first? My money is on the defense that recently allowed the Colts—THE COLTS—to have a fairly productive offensive day.

That's what I wrote BEFORE it was revealed that Quarterback Josh Freeman is inactive. Now, all bets are off. Run wild young Newton, run wild!

Cincinnati Bengals +7 @ Pittsburgh Steelers

Upset of the week time. Pittsburgh’s offense, for whatever reason, hasn’t been playing up to their potential as of late, and in week 10, the Bengals played them tough. Cincinnati is catching Pittsburgh at a great time…

Atlanta Falcons -3.5 @ Houston Texans

I don’t trust T.J Yates. I certainly don’t trust Jake Delhomme.

New York Jets -6.5 @ Washington Redskins

What happened the last time Rex Grossman strung together a handful of quality starts? He threw four interceptions and completed 40 percent of his passes against the Eagles. I think it’s that time of the season again.

Indianapolis Colts @ New England Patriots -20

It seems like every season Tom Brady just has one of those days where he explodes for six touchdown passes and everyone waxes poetically about the Patriot’s machine. Last season it was a surgeon-like performance against the Jets, and the season before it was a 59-0 thumping of the Titans. Get ready for something like that against the league’s worst pass defense.

Oakland Raiders @ Miami Dolphins -4

I believe in the Dolphins! Also, why hasn’t anyone brought up the fact that Matt Moore has been the second best quarterback in the AFC East this season? 1,600 passing yards, eight touchdowns, five interceptions. He’s thrown seven touchdowns in the past four games. Tony Sparano is forever endowed to Matt Moore for saving his career.

Denver Broncos -2 @ Minnesota Vikings

I BELIEVE IN TIM TEBOW AND WILL NOT STOP BELIEVING NO MATTER HOW HIDEOUS HIS PASSES LOOK, HOW LOOSE HIS SPIRALS ARE, OR HOW OFTEN HE PRAYS ON THE SIDELINES. TEBOW!!!!!! TEBOW!!!!!!! TEBOWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!

Tennessee Titans @ Buffalo Bills -1

The Bills aren’t bad enough to lose five straight, right?

Kansas City Chiefs @ Chicago Bears -5

In a battle of mediocre quarterbacks, Tyler Palko is by far the worst.

Baltimore Ravens -8 @ Cleveland Browns

I suppose it is time for a patented Baltimore road fail after two straight key victories against the Bengals and 49ers. Ah, screw it, I can’t bring myself to pick the Browns. Have you seen Colt McCoy play?

Dallas Cowboys -4 @ Arizona Cardinals

I don’t care much for all this BS about how the Cardinals give the Cowboys trouble. Dallas is rolling and Kevin Kolb is starting. As an aside, have we ever been less excited about a starting quarterback making almost $60 million dollars returning to the lineup? I don’t think so.

Green Bay Packers -8 @ New York Giants

I believed in the Giants last week, I really did. I might pull out my hair if the defensive line actually shows up for this one and Brandon Jacobs looks competent. Most unlikely, however.

St. Louis Rams @ San Francisco 49ers -11

The Rams average just over 10 points per game on the road. It’s looking more and more unlikely that Sam Bradford will play. The 49ers have arguable the league’s best defense. Must I continue? MUST I?

Detroit Lions @ New Orleans Saints -7

Apparently, the Saints have a thing for night games. They’ve scored 34, 62, and 49 points on Sunday or Monday Night games this season, so look out.

San Diego Chargers -2.5 @ Jacksonville Jaguars

Yes, in case you were wondering, this really is the Monday Night game. Someone really hates ESPN.

Upset of the Week: Cincinnati Bengals OVER Pittsburgh Steelers

Lock of the Week: Green Bay Packers OVER New York Giants

Pounding of the Week: New England Patriots OVER Indianapolis Colts

Last Week: 10-6

Overall: 90-81-8

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