Who am I kidding? The thought of Kendrick Perkins and Danny Ainge balling their eyes out as management broke the news of the trade has left me scarred for life. But I have a public obligation to write a gimmicky column handing out grades for all the teams that made deals amidst the craziest trade deadline ever. So here goes…
For a quick recap of all the trades, click here.
DENVER NUGGETS: B
It’s never good to trade your best player, especially one who happens to be among the ten best basketball players in the world, a transcendently gifted scorer, and one who has led your franchise from ground groveler to seven straight postseason births. Let me repeat: THAT’S NEVER A GOOD THING.
But I’ll also say this; there are two possible scenarios that take place when a superstar is on the move.
1. Management, instead of opening its eyes and coming to terms with the inevitable loss of their best player to free agency, decides to hope and pray that he won’t leave and live in denial for six months. Want an example? How about two modern ones: the Toronto Raptors (Chris Bosh) and Cleveland Cavaliers (LeBron James). Both royally f***** up so egregiously that one Franchise is in real danger of relocating, and the other one inspired a fan to create this website.
2. Management says this: “Holy crap. Our best player is leaving after the season, and there’s nothing we can do to convince him, not even through a year’s supply of strippers and hoochie mamas. We better trade him now and get something valuable in return.” Denver thankfully chose to go with option two, and thus didn’t irrevocably destroy their franchise in the process. Well done!
If you eye Denver’s current roster, it’s not terrible, they just don’t have anyone to build around…but they’ve got the guys to, err, surround the guy to build around if that makes sense. They’ve got Lawson and Felton who are two potential stud point guards (leaning more towards Lawson, as is Denver I believe), Nene (a very good, but not franchise caliber big man), Gallinari (a young swingman who may, or may not be a star), Wilson Chandler (a solid offensive player), Chris Anderson (whose entire face will be tattooed when basketball resumes after the lockout), Mozgov (moving on), a whole bunch of assets, and a comfortable payroll. While the future may not be bright, at least it’s not dark either. More like overcast I would say…
NEW YORK KNICKS: A
Didn’t you see how hoppin’ the Madison Square Garden crowd was throughout Carmelo’s debut? THE PLACE WAS ROCKIN’. Make no mistake; the Knicks had to pull the trigger here. Not only for Spike Lee’s sanity, but for the future of basketball in the big apple. With what they had, the Knicks were a .500 ball club; destined to lose in the first round—and not even really scare anybody. Seriously, before this Melo move Amare was the only guy who really struck fear into your soul, right? You can’t win a championship with Amare and a bunch of okay, but not great players. Look at the other contenders; they all have multiple pieces that scare you. OKC has Durant and Westbrook, the Lakers have Kobe and Gasol, the Spurs go 12 deep, and Boston has the big four. New York had a zero percent chance of making any noise with Amare and role-players—they needed another star.
And once a team has two stars, it’s a hell of a lot easier to get a third. If you don’t think the Knicks are positioning themselves to get either Dwight Howard, Chris Paul, or Deron Williams in the summer of 2012 you’re crazy. By the way, I’m terrified of Chris Paul going to the Knicks. They would become the greatest offensive team EVER.
They went out and fixed that. Don’t tell me you’re not frightened to play the Knicks in round one. Chauncey, AT THIS MOMENT, is a better player than Felton, and with his style and work ethic, why can’t he continue to perform well into his thirties? He’s shooting 44 percent from deep this season, a significant upgrade over Felton’s 33 percent mark. And he’s played in a million big games, and he plays with an edge, and anytime he stops on a dime in transition and launches a three I drop a brick in my pants, and he has experience with Anthony. Good god, this Billups, Melo’, Amare triumvirate is already scaring me. Good thing the Celtics have Perkins.
That reminds me…
BOSTON CELTICS: B-
So here’s what Boston’s trade tells me:
1. They don’t think they need another elite, lockdown post defender anymore. They believe Garnett can carry them in that department.
This also leads me to believe they’re not scared of the Magic or the Lakers. Perkins was the only person in basketball capable of guarding Howard one-on-one, and as recently as last season Orlando was Boston’s most competent rival in the east. So without Perk, and the addition of a solid wing defender, Ainge seems to be gearing up for the Knicks, Heat, Spurs, and Thunder.
2. They made a deal with Satan in order to insure Shaq and Jermaine’s health come playoff time.
3. They hate Nate Robinson as much as I do. Ok I don’t hate him; he seems like just the kind of friend you would love to go to a nightclub with or to be your wingmate. But as a basketball player? EHHHH. I have a lot of affection for short guys, but all Nate does is jack up horrible transition threes, play mediocre defense, turn the ball over, and commit one epic f***-up per game. Have fun with that Oklahoma City…
4. Shaq had Danny Ainge’s entire family hostage and threatened to eat them all unless Danny traded Perkins so he could start rather than come off the bench.
5. The Celtics have had one glaring weakness this season: no legit backup for Paul Pierce. How does Boston make it through Miami and New York with Pierce playing 40 minutes a night being the only Celtic capable of guarding Carmelo and LeBron? Doesn’t happen—that’s why they needed a serviceable small forward capable of spreading the floor and playing very good defense. Think an Anthony Parker or Shane Battier type.
In Jeff Green they got what the needed and MORE. As the Thunder’s third wheel, Green hasn’t been good. They acquired him thinking he could function as the third spoke in OKC’s dynamic duo of Durant and Westbrook. In Boston he’ll be coming off the bench, relieving both Pierce and Garnett, and playing heavy crunch time minutes. Just like Jamaal Crawford and Manu Ginobili, maybe sixth man was the role Green has been destined for.
To those who say Green isn’t an elite defender: He’s been a minus defender this year, but so has Oklahoma City in general. They went from giving up 98.0 ppg last season, to 102.3 this season. Defense is a combination of athleticism, desire, and the system. Considering Green is now in the best defensive system in basketball, is 24 and very athletic, and works his ass off, I have no reason to think he won’t be playing elite defense once he gets confortable.
6. For the past two seasons Boston has been sitting Perkins in crunch time because of his offensive ineptitude. With Rondo’s mediocre foul shooting, that’s two starters who couldn’t play in crunch time. That’s three-on-five everybody! It’s the main reason Boston couldn’t beat the Lakers a few weeks ago, and a legitimate reason to unload Perk.
7. Here’s the secret about Jeff Green: He’s been playing out of position in Oklahoma City since he’s been there. While he doesn’t have the size to play the four, and is helpless defending power forwards like Zach Randolph or Blake Griffin, he’s perfect at the three. He’s got the athleticism and the size to defend other small forwards like LeBron James, Carmelo Anthony, and Kevin Durant. So really, we kind of have no idea how could Jeff Green could be.
OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER: A+
Can the Thunder win a championship this season with what they have: ABSOLUTELY. Could you have said that last week? NO. Here’s what pretty much every knowledgeable basketball fan has agreed upon since the Thunder lost to the Lakers in the playoffs: Oklahoma isn’t going anywhere until they get more big men and an unselfish center who can rebound, block shots, set screens, defend elite post players, glare at people, and instill some toughness in such a young squad. Holy crap, I just described Kendrick Perkins! Most thought they made a mistake by not going after Marcus Camby over the summer, but they probably got someone better.
This trade was PERFECT. Oklahoma City plugged their most glaring hole and picked up some much needed bench scoring in Nate Robinson (just kidding, Robinson will shoot 27% and jack at least two horrendous threes per game). They also acquired Nazr Mohammed from Charlotte, a 6’10’’ center who brings experience and adds depth. Suddenly, the Thunder look very, very scary if you’re a Lakers fan. Think about it, Perkins matches up well with Bynum, and Ibaka can guard Gasol. With Perk, Collison, Ibaka, and Mohammed the Thunder have 24 fouls to throw at the Laker’s front line. Oklahoma’s starting lineup can come into focus now, also. Kevin Durant no longer has to play the four (unless OKC wants to go small) and can play the more natural three. Then Perkins starts at center, Ibaka at the four, Westbrook at point guard, and James Harden at shooting guard.
UTAH JAZZ: C
Man it sucks to be a Jazz fan right now. First you lose your coach, one of the most beloved sports personalities in Utah (sorry, that should have read only) and there goes your franchise in All-star point guard Deron Williams. But like the Nuggets, at least Utah got some valuable pieces in return. Oh wait, only Derrick Favors (who has barely shown signs of life), Devin Harris (already reached his peak), and two first-rounders in the worst draft of the decade. Utah has assets, but they don’t come close to the loss of their franchise point guard.
NEW JERSEY NETS: A-
Jersey tried hard as hell to get Carmelo Anthony, but they landed a pretty damn good consolation prize. And they only had to give up a near-catatonic rookie, a past-his-peak point guard, and two first round draft picks in a horrible draft. And I’ll reiterate with vigor: ANY TIME YOU CAN LAND A SUPERSTAR YOU HAVE TO PULL THE TRIGGER.
There is some risk involved; Deron hasn’t signed a contract extension like Carmelo in New York, and won’t be able to until after the CBA expires and is re-negotiated. So basically, the Nets have a year and a half to convince Deron not to jump ship and sign with a more impressive team—say the Knicks, or the Lakers. That’s quite a task for Prokhorov, as the current New Jersey roster is Brook Lopez, Kris Humphries, and, and…guys no one’s ever heard of. With the lack of draft picks after the Williams trade New Jersey looks to be positioning itself to land Dwight Howard in 2012.
PORTLAND TRAILBLAZERS: A+
Wait, Portland got Gerald Wallace for two first round picks not even lottery protected, Joel Pryzbilla, and Dante Cunningham? Yes, yes they did.
Portland, with the acquisition of Wallace, now has three guys capable of grabbing 10 boards a game (Aldridge, Camby, and Wallace), and a bunch of elite defensive players in Camby, Wallace, Batum and Mathews. How many other teams can say that? They just became a very, very intriguing sleeper team out west. If the spaghetti knees of Brandon Roy give the Trailblazers anything, anything, why can’t Portland win a first round series?
CHARLOTTE BOBCATS: F-
Anytime you trade a center who has changed the culture of a championship-caliber team (Chandler), a point guard who revived his career in New York (Felton), and a forward who was an All-star just one year ago (Wallace), you earn a giant, blazing F-. But sadly, that’s the state of the Charlotte Bobcats. No one watches them, not many people care about them, and Michael Jordan won’t spend any money on them. I heard a stat today that only 18,000 people in North Carolina tune in to Bobcats games—Hideous.
What’s shocking in particular is Jordan’s unwillingness to spend any money. After a playoff berth last season, Jordan completely blew up the team. It wasn’t championship caliber by any means, but at least give the fans something to watch. I get it—blow up the team, save cash, hope you strike gold in the draft. But what management has done is an affront to the loyal fans who do watch the Bobcats.
But as Bill Simmons pointed out in his column today, it’s time for the Bobcats to relocate. North Carolina is a college basketball state, and hell, the product Duke and UNC put out is probably better than anything Charlotte has produced in the past five years.
MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES: NO IDEA
But what I do know, however, is that Kevin Love, Eddy Curry, Michael Beasley, and Anthony Randolph are on the same team. How long until Love can bolt to a contender and we’re treated to more cologne commercials?
HOUSTON ROCKETS: D
Hasheem Thabeet? Why would you trade for Thabeet? I guess he has some upside, but whenever a top three pick is sent to the D-League you know there’s something wrong. The best I can say is Hasheem Thabeet is a cool name, he’s young and very tall, and Houston General Manager Darryl Morey seems to know what he’s doing.
But here’s what I don’t understand, reports indicate multiple contenders were interested in Battier, and I highly doubt epic draft bust Hasheem Thabeet and a first round pick (NOT lottery protected) was the best Houston could do.
The Rockets also swapped point guards with Phoenix, acquiring Goran Dragic for Aaron Brooks. I don’t like this trade either; The Suns once considered Dragic their point guard of the future, so trading him should tell you something. Brooks is clearly the better player…
MEMPHIS GRIZZLIES: B+
Shane Battier plus Tony Allen is an intriguing combination of the two best perimeter defenders in basketball. Assuming the standings stay relatively the same going into the playoffs (and that Utah falls off) Memphis would take the eight seed, matching them up against the Spurs round one. Wouldn’t that be a fun matchup? Battier and Allen guarding Ginobili and Parker, Zach Randolph running wild…am I completely full of shit, or would that be a competitive series?
LOS ANGELES CLIPPERS: A+
The Blakers unloaded Baron Davis’s inexplicable contract, grabbed Mo Williams (who put up 18 points a game just two seasons ago), and cleared enough cap space to sign a marquee free-agent (Chris Paul anybody?) in one fell swoop. What a sneaky good trade…
CLEVELAND CAVALIERS: F-----
Why? WHY? WHYYYY?
Here’s Cleveland’s thought process: Our team sucks, the only way to get better is to totally unload and acquire draft picks. Hopefully we’ll strike gold and land a Kevin Durant or Derrick Rose with a lottery pick. If we have to take Baron with the pick, all well, at least it’s a pick…
My thought process: Baron Davis is owed 28 million dollars over the next two seasons. And what do you get in return? A point guard who no longer cares because he plays for an awful team and a coach he has a bad history with. Isn’t this a disaster in the making? How can this possibly work? The other problem: The pick is for 2011, arguably one of the worst drafts of the decade. Even though it’ll be a lottery pick, there aren’t any Rose’s or LeBron’s in this one.
WASHINGTON WIZARDS: B+
The Wiz unloaded a washed up Kirk Hinrich, acquired Jordan Crawford (promising), Maurice Evans (EHH), Mike Bibby’s corpse, and a 2011 first-rounder. It’s not a franchise-altering trade, but a solid one nonetheless. Anything to give John Wall more playing time is a plus in my book.
ATLANTA HAWKS: C+
Hinrich is an upgrade over Bibby, but should anyone really be excited after the Hawks gave up a first round draft pick, a promising young guard, and a veteran to upgrade their point guard position from one washed up guard to a slightly less washed up guard? Was that sentence to long? Am I just throwing crap against the wall at this point? Does anyone really care about this trade?
CHICAGO BULLS for doing nothing: F
Well I lied, the Bulls DID go after O.J Mayo pretty hard, but apparently the Grizzlies’ owner is a massive douche and has some personal vendetta against the Bulls and just wouldn’t let it happen. Chicago needs a legitimate second scoring option, and someone they can run the offense through when Derrick Rose sits. Unfortunately, Chicago couldn’t get it done.
So can they win it all? Here’s my take after they beat the Heat a couple of nights ago: The Bulls are really hard to score on, they crash the hell out of the boards, and Derrick Rose IS the offense. Several times per game the Bulls go through hideous scoring droughts—especially when Rose is on the bench. They absolutely needed a two-guard who could carry the offense for stretches, knock down threes, and provide scoring bursts off the bench. O.J Mayo would have given the Bulls that, and might have taken them over the hump. Failing to get Mayo was a huge failure…
NEW ORLEANS HORNETS: A
Don’t worry, we’re almost done here.
GREAT trade for the Hornets. Carl Landry has been stuck on the Kings, hidden behind a bunch of other power forwards on a train wreck of a team, just fighting for survival. And now he gets to play with the best point guard in the land on a legitimate playoff contender. I’m happy for Landry, I’m happy for the Hornets, and I’m happy this column is almost over.
SACREMENTO KINGS: D-
Marcus Thornton and an injured Marquis Daniels…well done Kings!
No comments:
Post a Comment